[Xander]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Well, to me, it's because I find value in the experience.

I think one of my driving questions in life is "What does it mean to be human?" so that I can truly understand the big picture and live the most fulfilling life.

I never even understood why people asked that question nevermind any of the answers. What does it mean to be a dog? Well it means you're a dog... that's kind of cause and effect there. All else is individual in my opinion. The only reason for non biological correlation is cumulative chance in my eyes.

I also am finding increasing value in accepting circumstances placed on me, then finding out how to live within them in the fullest way.

Working with engineers.... gimmie a break... it's my job for goodness sake!!!

Pain is not something to be feared, it is to be experienced and learned from.

Also, it's part of "living in the moment" and being alive, to me; too much rationalization pulls us further and further away from Now.

We stop living and instead merely think about living.

What happened to the t-shirt with "been there, done that" on it? How many times do you need to feel something before it becomes and exercise in redundancy?

Personally I prefer to encounter emotion, not prod it with a taser to see what it does.

That seems foolish to me, intellectually -- we are robbing ourselves.

Precisely. However if we end up languishing in some euphoric state then we are wasting the time we could have spent thinking... balance in all things.

I guess. I can't speak for you. For me, it's not that at all.

But I also have a large artistic/aesthetic side, so experiencing sensations and feelings is an act in itself, it doesn't mean I want to change anything.

Hmm... yeah I guess that's true. I think I see it as more of a slippery slope and so I am cautious about stepping upon it less I hit the bottom before I can catch my grip.

As I've gotten older, I had to face that more and more.

*mental pictures of iron lung, wheelchair, IV*
I'm sure you tend to feel older and younger than those digits which you celebrate suggest. No one is their age really.

For a long time I thought life was utterly pointless unless we were eternal and did not understand the other.

I don't know what changed but in the last few years it did. Now it doesn't matter to me whether I live or die beyond this life, it simply makes my life here more precious and I want to live more fully... regardless of the risk. It gives my choices meaning, I think, and left me completely responsible for them.

(That's why I go by the "Christian agnostic/existentialist" label now.)

Errm may I just suggest you go by the label "complicated". Oddly enough it's less complicated.