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Originally Posted by INTJMom
Yeah, except that I was taught to suppress them, and the enneagram is something I'm supposed to have learned in infancy.
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You´ve developed your filter and your focus of attention at the end of your infancy at the latest (though I think you´re born your type), but that doesn´t mean that you won´t react on your environment. It´s part of your focus of attention to react very sensitively on specific messages.
If you were simply taught to suppress your anger than now it shouldn´t be a problem to do as you like. You call yourself „mom“, so I guess you don´t live with your parents anymore, right? If you can´t let go of your suppression, it´s because you subconsciously wanted yourself to suppress your anger.
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The other problem is that Xander says I'm not a five.
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I don´t think you´re a five either. Your previous post points to quite another type. Ones specifically suppress their anger, because they think it´s not okay to express it under normal circumstances. It´s important to do the “right“ thing, to be “good“. Though Ones will express their anger if they think it´s morally justified. For example, they can angrily denounce injustices. Political Ones often show a lot of their anger.