Quote:
Originally Posted by rhinosaur
Sometimes, if I'm angry or hurt, I will keep my mouth shut, because I realize that the reason I feel the way I do might be immature or irrational, and I might not feel the same way once I think things over.
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This is exactly why I keep my mouth shut in such circumstances, too. I don't recall a time when I regretted that decision.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauranna
Really i would say i very rarely let people in. Almost never. My closest friends are T's which is probably why i like them. I feel comfortable that they won't ask me anything personal.
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* nods *
Problem is when I actually do want to talk about something that is stirring up emotions for me (and decide the timing & person is right), I'm so unpracticed at it that it comes out all wrong, which aggravates me and makes me just want to clam up/give up. And, if there's even the slightest hint that the listener is burdened, annoyed, or bothered by the small amount of revealing I attempt to do, I stop talking and think twice before I open up to that particular one again. Once I've tried several times (because they are a spouse or family member) and felt I had to pull the emotions back in, it is pretty much a long-term or permanent wall I erect between us. I'll listen to them, but won't open up to them myself again. I just figure I can go off and work it out myself, which I usually choose to do rather than open up anyway.
A good portion of the time, I have a list of topics on which I don't mind opening up about quite so much. When I detect the other person in the relationship feels they need closeness with me and the way to get it is for me to open up to them, I'll choose from that list and "open up." This is also how I subtly test what kind of friend they'll be. If I hear my story on the town gossip chain the next day, I have my answer. All this may sound cruel or cold, but I realize this is what I do and why I do it. It has helped me judge the character of people and not get taken advantage of like I ordinarily might.