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What I find difficult with my girlfriend, for example, is that she always needs an explanation of why I am doing things.
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I have that tendency also. I'm not sure why, I guess it's the Ti wanting to make sense of things.
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However I don't understand very well how this is tied to being a "control freak"? That would be true only as long as you actually wanted others to conform to your plans (in which case, I'd agree with him).
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I guess it depends on your definition of control/control-freak. In his mind, it means several things including 1) controling others 2) not cooperating/hindering the plan which he feels is a form of passive control-freakiness (you are trying to control another's agenda by not cooperating)