Ah, Jeff said it; I hate being told what to do and that got me into a lot of trouble with my ENTx father, and ESTJ grandparents (maternal grandma and paternal grandpa). My ISFx mother also absorbed a lot of my father's 'Army General' tendencies so you can imagine what kind of childhood this SP underwent. In terms of teenage terrorism (stealing family car, smoking, playing truant...) I was a positive saint compared to my xSTP and ENTP elder half-brothers but they still say I gave them the hardest time simply because I quietly did what I wanted when I wanted to.
Because of the 'I', they assume us to be more passive and it poses even more of a shock for them when we 'rebel' against the agenda they've set out for us.
Does your ENTJ know about personality typing? That might make him understand you that little bit more.
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