[Usehername]

Either he doesn't value a different way of being and dealing with the world than what comforts him (xxTJness), or you aren't stepping enough out of your comfort zone to deal with reality like everyone has to with whatever their challenges are.

Likely both are true, but you'll have to be the one to judge who should be the one making more adjustments. This is the sort of thing that a RL friend is far more helpful for--we can't tell if you're biased to kindly guide you to "see the light" just as we can't tell how much your husband's xxTJness is setting the tone for what "should be standard" and if he's being domineering in an unhealthy way.

Good luck figuring it out...