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Old 08-27-2008, 03:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
Snail
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Type: INFP
Posts: 122
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A relationship between an ENFJ and an INTP can work fine. My ex-boyfriend (an INTP) used to date an ENFJ, and they hardly ever fought. She was bubbly and resilient, and she was just different enough from him that he didn't feel such an urge to try to change her. He was constantly trying to break my F into a T because it was the only letter where we differed. I was "so close" to being just what he demanded. He was able to appreciate her as a unique individual instead of seeing her as a potential mirror image that just needed a bit of work. Her extraversion allowed him to safely retreat into his private world of books and theories because she took on all of the social responsibilities and any chores that involved interacting with people. When I was with him, my introversion made it difficult for me to offer him the same luxury. She liked the challenge of trying to gradually, patiently make him more ethical, and she had greater success at healing his misanthropic attitudes than I had because he respected her more for her assertiveness. The only reason they broke up was that he got bored with her. She wasn't intelligent enough for him, even though she was enthusiastic about trying to study things with him. Her intelligence would not necessarily be type-dependent, regardless of what the research says about an introvert being more likely to have a high IQ than an extravert, so I would have to say that it is possible for ENFJs and INTPs to be extremely successful. The ENFJ was crazy about the INTP and needed his rationality to balance her. Both gained something from the relationship.
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