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Originally Posted by substitute
I've thought of that. But it's important for me that people know my friendship is not dependent on those things though, that if they sense obligation then it comes from themselves and not from anything I'm expecting or requiring.
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No, honey. It's not like that. I seriously doubt they think your friendship is dependent on any sense of obligation. I think you are taking a pessimistic view in removing all sense of sincerity or enjoyment from them when in reality it's probably the opposite of a bother. Just because they find enjoyment in pleasing you does not mean that it is not genuine. And whether or not it was your idea or theirs, it doesn't matter. It has the same result.
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I guess I just can't understand a mindset that would actually think they can 'command' affection, which is all I think a choice to spend free time with someone should be based on, genuine affection.
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Who do you think is doing that? Tell me who "they" is referring to.