How to get accepted despite not responding to expectations like you should?
I've so far only found that I can't but I can bring the other parties attention to when I exceed mandate and leave them to either see the balance or boil their heads. It's not exactly my job to ensure that people are happy with my choices only to try to ensure that my passing through doesn't capsize all those in my wake.
As for whether I feel it or not, of course I do. I feel it because there are people I care about who DO see these things as expected and by not doing them I do let them down. It actually prays on my mind from time to time (brain kicks in a feels worse about not having told a certain friend that he's not going to be there for her thirtieth..
...yet). However there's also a certain amount fo "screw you hippy" as I require time unmolested by such things and yet they feel no compunction about inflicting it upon me.
Fair's fair in my book.