[substitute]

yeah you see oasispaw, that's the obligated feeling I'm talking about that I can't relate to. I don't honestly consider anyone as having any right or claim over my time except my own kids - and when they're grown up and are no longer dependent on me so much then even that will diminish.

The ONLY reason I ever spend time with ANYONE, EVER, is because I want to, for my own reasons. Never because of any feeling that I "should". If my parents were in town, no matter how long ago I last saw them, if I didn't honestly want to see them, if I wasn't close to them and had other plans or other things I'd rather do, I wouldn't hesitate to just carry on. I wouldn't feel even slightly obligated to them.

For me the idea that anyone is spending time with me out of feelings of obligation rather than purely because they want to, the idea that anyone feels obligated to give me their time, as though I had some claim over them - well, it's horrendous!!