Quote:
Originally Posted by substitute
So, things like spending time talking to a guy who's bought you a drink; going to visit a family member who's in your neighbourhood even though you're not close to them and it's quite an effort for you to get there, because you've been invited; bringing a bottle to a BYOB party (like I know this ISFJ woman who got sidetracked by an emergency on the way to a party and didn't get time to buy a bottle before the store closed, so she wanted to go home but I refused (and was driving lol) so we went but she felt guilty for days afterwards whilst I had no intention of taking a bottle cos I wasn't gonna be drinking anyway since I was driving - she's a teetotaller anyway "but it says BYOB on the invitation!!  "); donating money to somebody who rattles a charity collection box under your nose; going to a wedding you've been invited to even though you won't know anyone else there; going to a birthday party of a person you don't like much because they've invited you and they give you a ride into work occasionally... and any other things you can think of. |
i can't say that any of your examples would bother me if i didn't do them. i feel obligation to those close to me, not random people. like, my parents were in town a little while ago and i felt torn between devoting all my spare time to them or my boyfriend and my parents won because i don't get to see them very often. i did have this minor nagging feeling that i should invite my boyfriend along for everything, but knowing that he likes time to himself, not inviting him or him not wanting to join us was no big deal.
example: one of the vp's of my company planned a potluck for tomorrow, just today, and i felt like maybe i should bring something, but a) i think all courses are taken care of, b) i'm the lowest on the totem pole at work therefore the lowest paid- i'm not wasting money on a dumb potluck.
conclusion: any feeling of obligation was quickly resolved.