Very interesting topic, Subs. Hmmm...yes, I'd say I do live under a lot of obligations; but I wouldn't say that I necessarily resent them. Sometimes they do get obnoxious and frustrating and really wear me down, but I am happier when I have some obligations rather than having none at all.
I think SFJ's suffer much more from social obligations than STJ's do. I can pass up a wedding invitation to someone who is not very close to me, or a birthday party of someone I don't particularly care for, but I will at least make an effort to acknowledge the celebrations. I might give a card (or present for the wedding), or send a happy birthday email/text message/phone call to the person so they know I am thinking of them even though I will not be in attendance. I might feel a little more obligation to family....just because...they're family.
The places that I really feel obligation are the places that I willingly commit myself to such as my schoolwork, friends, family, and job. I almost enjoy these kinds of obligations because it means that in fulfilling these obligations I am making a difference in the lives of those I care about, and am doing work that I generally find meaningful and rewarding. Sometimes though, if I feel I am underqualified or do not feel like I can reasonably commit the time and energy needed to fulfill my obligations I begin to feel guilty and negligent. Obligations are kind of like a blessing and a curse. I love when people depend on me for things, but at the same time sometimes my efforts are taken for granted and I end up with too much responsibility piled up on top of me. I try to keep a reasonable balance in my life though -- I pick my battles.
Take for instance, I recently accepted a job to teach Spanish at a university (I start on Monday), and while I love the Spanish language, and am studying to be a teacher I still feel vastly underqualified for this job. I am expected to teach completely in Spanish from day 1 and am supposed to focus on speaking communication. Now, my reading and writing skills in Spanish are very good, but my speaking abilities are lacking and I KNOW I'm gonna get stuck in class and will be fumbling around for words. Plus, I have never taught before -- much less at the university level. This is going to be a huge challenge/burden for me, but I know it will undoubtedly teach me lots, so that's why I accepted the job. I put that obligation on myself. I will, in turn, commit myself to being the best teacher possible while trying to follow the guidelines that the department has set out for me to follow. I like the challenge, it's just that sometimes I will work myself too hard and will be too critical of myself.
Does that make sense?
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