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Old 08-15-2008, 09:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
substitute
Closet ENTJ
 
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Join Date: May 2007
Type: ENTP
Location: Europe
Posts: 4,471
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Default Feeling obligated

Just curious... something going on in my life at the moment that's making me wonder if SJ life is like living under constant feelings of obligation to one thing after another... and whether these obligations are resented by the SJ or not, and whether there's any way for an SJ to understand a person not feeling obligated by the same things without concluding that that person is therefore a bad person?

Obligations like... oh, anything. But things that are not actually legal obligations, I mean, things you do, in a real sense, have the choice as to whether or not you fulfill them as opposed to things that you'd be arrested for not fulfilling like paying taxes and stuff.

So, things like spending time talking to a guy who's bought you a drink; going to visit a family member who's in your neighbourhood even though you're not close to them and it's quite an effort for you to get there, because you've been invited; bringing a bottle to a BYOB party (like I know this ISFJ woman who got sidetracked by an emergency on the way to a party and didn't get time to buy a bottle before the store closed, so she wanted to go home but I refused (and was driving lol) so we went but she felt guilty for days afterwards whilst I had no intention of taking a bottle cos I wasn't gonna be drinking anyway since I was driving - she's a teetotaller anyway "but it says BYOB on the invitation!! "); donating money to somebody who rattles a charity collection box under your nose; going to a wedding you've been invited to even though you won't know anyone else there; going to a birthday party of a person you don't like much because they've invited you and they give you a ride into work occasionally... and any other things you can think of.

I guess this is more aimed at SFJ's than the T's, but I'd be interested in the STJ's point of view too and really anyone else's!
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