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Originally Posted by ThatGirl
Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.
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This is funny, but I'm going to pick it apart in the spirit of gool old NT fun and humor....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.
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Not normal behavior at all indeed! Someone had obviously been feeding them. Were you eating at the time or carrying food?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.
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Maybe there was a nest nearby it was "defending." I suggest a simple hat as an adequate defense.
Besides, the bird was actually being nice to you. They've been known to engage in certain *ahem* "biological warfare" tactics.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.
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That is strange, but you probably won't deny that your bed is the warmest coziest place in the house. It's also a sign you need to seal any external openings which are large enough to fit a pencil eraser with expanding foam sealant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.
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Good going, ya cruel, cold-hearted NT!
Care to share any incriminating details? Some of us balance our N with our T you know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
5. Had to trap three lizards.
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Why? Were you hungry?
Sealing for the mice should seal out the Reptilians.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.
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Ouch. Black widow in a pile of firewood perhaps? That's a classic hideout for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirl
WTF. Is nature out to get me?
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No, but your fear and lack of understanding of it has already gotten you.
Edit: By the way, if you think you have problems now, just remember that
nature could get even scarier.