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Old 07-18-2008, 04:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
Jen
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Elvis our prophet on earth, is now The King of Heaven. Like all religions, the Faith of the Elvisism is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that that he was a prophet; we logically know he is in heaven because he died.


On August 16, 1977 our lord and savior, Elvis Presley, ascended to heaven to assume his rightful throne. Throughout his time amongst us he revealed his divine prophesy through his music, true believers keep the faith by having his music in their hearts.

Elvis re-appeared before his most devout believers at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee on Christmas Day 1977 to spread the divine word as promised in his prophesy I'LL BE HOME ON CHRISTMAS DAY. The following is a recount of that evening by one of his disciples, Ernest Judge;

We had I’M COMIN’ HOME playing on a loop in the background and candles surrounding the Kings shrine, at exactly five past midnight they flickered he appeared before us in a bright light, we were overcome with emotions at the sight of our King and Saviour.

“Thank you, thank you very much” he said. “DON'T CRY DADDY, I’m IN MY FATHER'S HOUSE now and IT FEELS SO RIGHT”

We were in awe of his presence and had many questions, one believer started asking him all the thoughts that had been plaguing us for the past four months but was quickly interrupted “A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION, I come with commandments for my true believers,” We obeyed and stood in silence whilst he recited our new 10 commandments. I’ll never forget that day, many non-believers try to test my faith but an experience like that cannot be denied I JUST CAN'T HELP BELIEVIN'.

Elvisism: Improved Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall BELIEVE IN THE MAN IN THE SKY.
2. Thou shall have no other Idols before me for there shall be DOUBLE TROUBLE if you do.
3. Thou shall LOVE ME TENDER and not use my name in vain.
4. Thou shall wear BLUE SUEDE SHOES on the Sabbath to keep it holy.
5. Thou shall honor thy parents because everyone NEED SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON.
6. Thou shalt not murder because it's not EASY COME EASY GO.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery, I SLIPPED, I STUMBLED, I FELL is not an excuse.
8. Thou shalt not steal but FINDERS KEEPERS, LOSERS WEEPERS.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness as IT'S A SIN TO TELL A LIE.
10. Thou shalt not covert THE GIRL OF MY BEST FRIEND.


Faith Based Recipes Featuring The Elvis Fried Peanut Butter Banana Sammy


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The former eats babies and calls it nutritious. The latter eats souls and calls it judicious.
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