[substitute]

OK, so I've got an important birthday coming up. Not mine - someone else's. And I figured since they're one of these people who has everything already, and is extraordinarily picky and stuff with music, clothes etc, and since the way I know him is such that it'd just be indefensibly lame to get him some kind of voucher, I thought something original is called for.

I thought I'd give him a cartoon, custom drawn, that'd suit his sense of humour, frame it nicely y'know? Only my artistic skills don't tend to cover cartoony stuff, so here's what I have in mind:

You've got a typical looking Anglican church hall interior. View of a bunch of pensioners and a token younger person sitting round a table, with a homemade and rather lame banner saying "PCC JUBILEE PLANNING COMMITTEE" somewhere behind them. At the head of the table is a vicar, tall and slim but with a slight paunch, balding, glasses, toothy, and he's standing up and holding aloft a voodoo doll of an old lady (one of the ones sitting at the table), brandishing a huge and evil looking pin with a look of insane fury on his face as he's about to stab the pin into the doll. The pensioners are looking aghast at him and the caption below reads "FATHER STEPHEN'S SECRET PAST AS A VOODOO WITCH DOCTOR WAS OUTED WHEN HE HEARD HIS 1000TH 'WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT THIS WAY'"

Or if you can think of a better way of putting it, feel free.

Can anyone help?