[Gen]

Originally Posted by Xander

Me thinks you're t-ing this bit. Listening is not always about fixing things... sometimes it's just about the listening. In such cases an introvert rules.

I know listening isn't about fixing things, its about listening... it's about being compassionate... wait a minute, are you an F!?!? This is the thing, I rarely just need someone to listen to me, I want to discuss it and get some thoughts on it. I've learned that some people do just want to be heard; and I find it very difficult to stop myself from giving advice.

Plus have you not gotten annoyed at some bubbly N trying to tangent off before you got to the crux of the subject?

Of course I have silly, that's why I said that I agree being interrupted is annoying.

Personally I hate it when people jump the gun and think they've heard enough when I've got stuff which I feel is important yet to say. Mind you I also know that importance is subjective and also how the hell are they to know I've got this important information before I tell them?

As you do with introverts. The point being is will the extrovert find it as easy to "back seat" their bubbling idea whilst they listen or is it more likely that they no longer hear you and are just waiting to be allowed to explode?
(that's not a leading question btw, just something that occurred to me from some of the ESs I've known).

I can't speak for everyone, of course, but I doubt that they've just stopped listening. They're E's remember. What happens in your head, as an I is that you get a bunch of info and need to process it before you move on. That's not what happens in theirs. They'll take it all in and then process it as it comes out when you're done talking.

The one caveat I have is that none of this can be applied to all E's, of course. You may have unhealthy E's, selfish E's, stressed E's, overly familiar E's, or any number of reasons that they will actually be horrible listeners. I maintain a person is not a bad listener just because they are an extrovert.

That's a fallacy actually and very chicken and the egg. Respect is given and received simultaneously and independently. One does not impact on the other in any direct relationship.

Yes it does. You may find yourself in a situation where you are butting heads with someone and it's become a lockhold where no one will give in. Annoying as it is, sometimes the best thing to do is hold out the olive branch and be extremely respectful. This will help soften the other person, and give them no reason to continue being overtly disrespectful or hold to their guns so hard. It doesn't always work, but I never chalk up a situation as impossible until I've tried it.

The point is that if I want someone to listen, not to converse but just to listen by itself, then I talk to introverts. If I want motivating or sorting or compassion or any kind of feedback then I'm more likely to go to an extrovert. (That's not a hard rule obviously other wise I wouldn't surround myself with extroverts so much...)

You may be right, extrovert. That's why I don't surround myself with introverts. I need people around me who will talk; god knows I'm not gonna!