Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotherym
Well before I knew anything about personality theory -- or much of anything at all -- I noticed there were two basic types of personality people would portray; reserved and quiet, and energetic and outspoken. Fellow students and teachers would either be one or the other for more extended periods of time. I even noticed my dogs exhibiting an extremely similar, and very obvious, version of this personality difference.
I was sold on the idea of introversion vs. extraversion. I have never been able to extravert for very long without somatisizing it into a headache or stomach trouble. However, I've only very rarely been shy, and even more rarely been considered anything other than a loudmouth. Well, I am, I guess, but my extraversion is simply a tool and a ruse.
The reality is that, for every four or so hours of intense extraversion, I need about five to eight hours of supplemental sound sleep and a couple hours of extra 'alone time' to recover. Yes, I've actually figured that out.  Though I love an interesting conversation, people suck the life force out of me, and until a few years ago, I never understood exactly why.
The introverts I've been close to in my life haven't been terribly shy, except one or two. However, I've known shy extraverts, and they were the type of person that, once accustomed to the fact you weren't going to humiliate them in some way, would be non-stop boisterous.
This may not be scientific, but it's what I've personally experienced. Whether or not the idea/hypothesis of introversion and extraversion holds any water scientifically, I don't know, but I thought I'd read several studies had been done. |
I too had only heard of and thought in terms of introversion and extraversion, yet I found that the other scale, of people vs. task-orientation, was more important; especially for a shy person looking for acceptance from people. I had assumed all loud popular people were unaccepting (after all, they had their pick of friends), while other "quiet" types were more accepting, since they had this apparent "shyness" in common. It was learning about the original Galenic four "humor" temperaments, and the other scale besides I/E, that showed that was not the case. Some loud popular people accepted anyone, and many quiet types basically rejected everyone, and did not want to be bothered.
It is said that the "expressive" behavior (I/E) is "what we SAY we want", and the other dimension (responsiveness) is "what we REALLY want".
If you're INFJ, then your Interaction Style (INJ) is Chart the Course (or Melancholic), which is the introvert who basically "rejects" people. This is depicted in the Keirsey/Berens system in terms of a "directing communication". So one result of this is people tiring you out.
NF is one of the more "responsive" conative groups, so you do have some amount of wanting of interaction from other people. Yet again, because of the interaction style, they will more quickly drain you.
The other kind of "shy extravert" you refer to, who becomes more open when he feels secure with you, is someone with low expressiveness, yet very high responsiveness. I actually fall into this category, and in some respects I do come out as an extravert (apparently favoring Ne as dom. over the introverted judging function), even though I'm not usually outgoing in person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by htb
As for the discussion, system-triangulation may help. Yet I continue to wonder if extraversion and introversion must be thought of as corollary and not determinant -- as, say, dimorphism is a manifestation of chromosomal arrangement, "E" and "I" are figurations of temperamental characteristics that are highly dependent on irreducible types. So preferences do run along a continuum but aren't, were you to try to deduce, terms distributed across the category.
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I believe both introversion and extraversion, along with people vs. task focus, stem from internal drivers that usually take the form of some "fear" or "need". Introverts fear rejection, while extraverts need attention, and have the confidence to approach others. We can say they fear insignificance. Task-oriented or "directive" people distrust others or fear being controlled in some way. So they tend to reject people and focus on tasks, in which people are simply to be "directed". People-oriented or "informative" people need acceptance, or fear worthlessness, so they are more friendly and accepting to people (and thus less directive).
Sometimes, this "people-orientation" is called "responding as an extravert", while task-orientation is "responding as an introvert". So responsiveness can influence introverted or extraverted behavior, despite the normal I/E ("expressivess") designation.