mysavior, I understand your issue. My GF is a ISFJ woman, my best friend is an INTP. I met her through my best friend, they go to school together and they work well together.. if it's not on the same things. When they have to cooperate with each other on something, it becomes a reaaaal power struggle. They can't take classes together anymore because while my friend is interested in absorbing knowledge and sharing it with other people, so when she trys to "tutor" my GF she goes on the defensive. As soon as my GF noticed that she's climbing too high on the ladder, she starts getting EXTREMELY competitive with the INTP. And my friend absolutely hates competitiveness, doesn't see the point in it. She hates when people start one sided competitions with her.
I think her biggest peeve is being controlled, or the feeling of being controlled... which is basically all the ISFJ ever does. Plan on her own schedule, try to fit others into it.. when the INTP doesn't want to be fitted into anything, hates being fitted into things not of their own volition. And.. the whole being polite thing when actually looking down on someone, my friend absolutely HATES it, she views it lying to somebody's face basically. When you don't let people act like the intelligent agents she believes everyone to be, that's when she has serious issues.. and ISFJ's hit those issues quite often, it's in their nature sorta.. they different views on how to handle people I guess.
About the weird attraction thing, my friend also says she's attracted to my GF for some reason.. like, curiously drawn to her and wanting to know how she works or something. Yet whenever they get together it really is the same cycle. They're drawn to each other, INTP curious, ISFJ also interested in what they have to say, then something happens when they have to DO something serious together, they get really upset with each other, INTP attempts to confront ISFJ about it which ends up in ISFJ acting extremely polite (that's always her defense) and backing off, INTP hating them for backing off at the most important time, then they both need a period of time to cool off.
So yeah I would say that the two are best together when they are on equal footing.. when either one becomes a higher rank than the other things get really, really messy. I think they would be best as acquaintances or classmates yeah, sharing things together but should not try to push it on the other
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