I suffer to Kiddo. While I’ve never heard of ‘Maladaptive Perfectionism’ before it certainly is as good a term as any to describe the hole I’ve pretty much fallen into. I’m also another one of those types who for no other reason than self deprecation remembers every little mistake and blunder I’ve made. Things I did in grade school that really don’t matter anymore still bother me from time to time. It’s not like I dwell on these things all the time but every time I make a mistake it comes back and piles on with the rest. Most of the time however, it doesn’t bother me.
Ever since the end of the eighth grade I’ve been slowly but surely digging myself into this place where I can’t get anything productive done at all. I either spend my time worrying about it or doing things to take my mind off it and end up getting absolutely nothing of importance done in the end. I know that just getting things done is far easier than letting them stay undone, and that in many cases doing my school work half way is better than not doing it at all, but the same thing happens. It’s pretty much to the point where I have little to no motivation to get things done unless I’m under a great deal of pressure, and even then it’s iffy that I’ll get things started. The only good thing is that once I do get started I’ll absolutely follow through come heck or high water. It’s just getting over that hump that is the hard part, and I haven’t the faintest where to start climbing.
|