Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo
Any fellow sufferers out there? Do you think INJs are especially prone to this "disorder"?
The Confession
I judge myself so harshly for my mistakes. I remember errors as far back as 2nd grade and continue to feel shame and embarrassment for them. I set vague impossible goals that I have no hope of achieving and then feel great disappointment when I don't achieve them. I end up paralyzed when it comes to starting new tasks because I have to get it just right and that leads to a pattern of procrastination. And of course, I do the self deprecation thing in order to get sympathy and affirmation from others. At times it seems I can't get anything started unless I am on the verge of a break down from the stress and anxiety.
I've been like this since I failed and had to repeat 1st grade. My "all or nothing" thinking is something I have tried to combat in the past, but when you have thinking this way since you were very young, it is second nature.
|
i, too, remember every "mistake" i've made and still feel the effects of them (social mistakes are by far the worst). although... i don't do much self-deprication, i'm pretty damn self-confident. it's just that i hold myself to higher standards than anyone else. (i don't mean to brag, but i still can't get over my 780 on the math SAT, and it was 4 years ago...)
i'm an enneagram type 1, though.
i also dwell on some iffy things i did with girls over three years ago...i wish i could let go, but i still wonder if i'm a good person...