Quote:
Originally Posted by SPARKles
I agree with you that that is definitely what I did, much to my schgrin when it backfired. Ever since I have mellowed out, let him come to me, and just been polite and casual I've seen a complete change in him. It's good to be reminded, though, as it takes a lot of work for an ENFP not to get overly excited and enthusiastic about life and all its possibilities. We often need a reality check that we are being overwhelming/smothering. Part of the zest of life that attracts people to us also is draining to others without a similar temperment.
I have been married before. I am much calmer and at peace when I have the security of the loyal committment. That's what makes him so attractive in part is that I know he will be fiercely loyal unlike my last mate. He told me once that if we end up together I will never want for reassurance from him.
Thanks for the reminder. It's a good one. I often think of myself as a horse that needs reins.
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ISTJ=Reins
Allowing an ISTJ to come to a conclusion himself and not be forced into one is definitely the better choice. Try not to pressure him into things, and if he seems pressured allow one night's rest before inquiring about it or any decision that is creating the stress/indecision.
We're not that complicated, we just like to thoroughly toss around an idea in our heads before coming to a solid conclusion. Otherwise, we fight change as adamantly as children fighting sleep
.
You can be emotionally expressive, just not so much as to freak out an ISTJ. Excitement can drain us, especially if it lasts awhile in our presence.
Good luck, btw.
