Quote:
Originally Posted by girlnamedbless
For example, my iNtuitive friend was talking about an argument she had with her other friend the other day, and the conversation went down like this:
---Her: I don't know, she's just pissing me off lately.
---Me: Why, what did she do?
---Her: She's being lame, and I don't know what I did wrong.
---Me: Did she do something or say something?
---Her: She's acting different towards me.
---Me: That sucks, did she talk to you about it?
---Her: Yeah, she called me and said I was never there for her, and also she kept saying I was a bad friend to these certain people.
---Me: Ohh, I see what you mean.. I have no idea why she could be doing that...
etc.
So basically, I always have to ask Ns to further explain themselves.. in order to fully understand a situation, I need examples and stories. It takes a lot to get it out of some Ns.. but so I can understand them, I sort of need to. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting words into their mouths to try to understand a situation better. :/
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You're a good friend.
I read your post and laughed, you have such a good understanding (as would be expected, since you're S) of some of the quirks and problems with N types. I come at it from the N side of things, but I totally understand why this is frustrating (partly because the huge majority of my family relationships, aside from pure friendships, have all been with S's).
Your N friend could probably say the same thing to another N and the N would exactly what she meant, because they both operate the context of details, not necessarily the details themselves -- like dropping a large clear "overlay" overtop the facts. You work more with the separate details than with the patterns of details, so you need more of the details explained for you to follow. This seems pretty common for N/S relationships, just for the S to always be asking for some clarity and specifics, while the N is leaping around and can follow many things but has trouble anchoring things in place.
To be honest, for practical reasons, I would probably enjoy an S teacher better in terms of understand expectations, than an N teacher... if I knew I had requirements to fulfill. I do like to know what is expected of me, so I don't have to guess all the time. But then again, the N teacher -- being so flexible with the assignment parameters -- is probably ALSO flexible with the assignment grading, where the S is both more specific with the requirements and thus is much more likely to adhere to those standards when evaluating performance. So it goes both ways -- an N teacher (especially NP) will not provide as specific requirements, but this also means their grading is based on the same amount of flex, usually.