Quote:
Originally Posted by proteanmix
Yeah I often redirect the conversation into being about the other person and it's barely noticed. Not going to lie, that's my favorite. It's so efficient. 
I think I worked with another ENFJ (retrospect typing) and she was so good at Grasshopper, it was amazing. I'd ask her a personal question and she toss it back at me and then I'd answer and volley it back to her. I don't know how to describe it. For all intents and purposes, when we would talk it would be a very seamless conversations, but it was hard (at least I felt that way) almost like squeezing blood out of a turnip. No lack of topics, no uncomfortable silences, but something was difficult about it. I don't know, I may have been imagining things  . We wouldn't talk over each other, but we both were trying to get personal info out but very reluctant to give any up.
This leads me to think do you wonder if it would be difficult for ENFJs to be friends with each other? I'm used to being in a position in my friendships (with the exception of about three people), that I'm the one that gives advice, I'm the only that helps out. Sometimes I resent the fact that I can't be the one in need, or maybe that I don't allow myself to be in that position, I don't know. When I am, it's like a raw exposed nerve, I hate that feeling and I want things to get to how they were ASAP. Maybe two ENFJs would face this problem of wanting the other person to divulge, but not willing to reveal.
Back to the games, Mindreader happens with family and the closest friends because that tends to get a bit intense. When you start claiming to know what people's true feelings and motives are and/or turn into Hector Projector, you'd better be close enough to them that you can kiss and makeup afterwards. |
I've often wondered that...about two ENFJ's being friends. I have a woman at work (older than I am by about 10-12 years) but I think she's fantastic. She's an ENFJ. I can't claim we're FRIENDS because outside of school we've only spent one day seriously socializing and we were joined by three others (teachers on a "YEAH schools over" trip) Anyway I have a feeling we'd be able to sustain a great convo and I think she's given me more personal info than I've given to her (perhaps that comes with age) and perhaps it's just been having the opportunity to talk more with her.
I know that I, like you am always in the position of advice giver. I sometimes long to be the one who receives but I also know that to do that I have to trust someone with info about myself. Yes it's like exposing a raw nerve on purpose...and once I thought..."maybe it's the same for them and they are just braver than you are"...so I tried it...
oh my lord it was terrible but I did feel a weight lifted to some extent. I'm not saying it got easier after that, I still give advice more than I get it (about major things) but it was good for me to give (a piece of myself) in that way (info about myself to someone) instead of being the advice giver. For me and for the person I divulged to I think.
Mindreader...the problem for me is that seldomly..and I mean seldomly have I been wrong (I say that not bragging) but so that you realize the problem this is for me. Because I've seldom been wrong when I do it and I'm trying to
NOT if I "mindread" something that's going to hurt them down the line or whatever...what do I do then? The few times I've ignored it I felt awful when something happened that perhaps could have been prevented. Now I just sorta hurt myself emotionally by keeping a distance from some situations....I have to conscienciously decide to stay away so I don't get involved enough to "mindread" But you're right....about being close enough to kiss and make up...in my case tho it's been..."Why didn't you say?" ...."I'm sorry I didn't think you'd want to hear it"
tough situation to be in.