[disregard]

Originally Posted by Geoff

Forums provide a unique opportunity to level the playing field. Many real life factors largely disappear in a forum situation. Age, looks, prior contacts/experience and real life social set. Gender is oddly persistent.. perhaps it is the ultimate distinguishing factor between people that is the last to disappear. So, with the exception of expressed (doesn't have to be real) gender, it is a level playing field.

Yes.. age and looks certainly diminish in importance in an online forum. Who you know and what you've done isn't what counts--it's how you present yourself and your ideas. This has an upside as well as a downside. The upside is that this certainly does level the playing field.. and those of us that would have never gotten a chance to speak to one another in real life (due to the seeming unreasonableness of engaging in conversation with 1) someone you have just met 2) someone ten or twenty years younger/older than you 3) someone married 4) someone across the globe) all of a sudden have all the time in the world to discuss anything which pops into mind.. sort of like being in Wonderland.. The downside is that some people might present themselves to be someone other than who they are in terms of the things that are sacrificed in this leveling of the playing field--looks, age, gender, etc. Someone you've been getting to "know" for months or even years may very well have been omitting a few very important truths.. or simply lying.

Originally Posted by Geoff

The forum is like a stage, but a safe one, with an unseen audience as well as an active one. People seem to see the forum life as one that includes the opportunity to play-test personae and actions. Some see it as themselves, but one freed from (some) social conventions. Whether we remain consciously aware of it or not, there is a large "read only" audience, who browse as guests. So, we become players on a stage. The audience is like the Oort cloud, floating way outside and around the solar system, but there nevertheless and in large numbers. An important aspect is the lack of privacy. While there are PMs, many normally private matters (private if outside of forum life) are there in the public domain. People can watch, almost voyeur, "private" discussions on emotionally charged aspects, in a public domain.. that we pretend is like a closed family group.

The presence of an audience (and I believe the more important figures of this perceived audience actually are registered members.. as only a member's opinions and dare I say reputation points have a tangible effect on the stage player's security and well-being) certainly alters the way in which we communicate. What we choose to disclose can be as true as we wish it to be. Our stories can be completely one-sided.. but the truly enlightened tell it like it is, and make no bones about their faults, mistakes, or responsibility. This is what draws me in. I like it when someone welcomes me into this chamber.. If not me, personally (via PM), then publicly, but when someone can be honest an unashamed (but certainly not proud) of the things they would blush to share with their therapist, it ropes me in.. As for the testing of personae.. I can attest to this. Over the years.. I've adjusted the way in which I communicate.. to optimise my potential.. Some of the members here are just beginning to have light shed upon their ways, and it is so rewarding to choose the right path and work on oneself.. to push pride aside.

Originally Posted by Geoff

Like all social groupings, tribalism is rampant on forums. Cliques (perceived or real, the effect is largely the same), unofficial hierarchies, mating games... it is all there to be seen. In this aspect, the forum life is much like the real life one, but with the exception that this is transitory and not grounded in a real location. The breaking down of worldwide borders (with the exception usually of the prime language - often English) gives a unique opportunity to watch human interaction without the overlays of national identity. Or at least, to see how national identities, upbringings and culture clash, and counter clash in a large scale setting. This aspect is probably my favourite.

It's even better than in real life, because you are around the same people so much. It's like being away at summer camp... there is no distraction... and so these games and hierarchies become inescapably prevalent. The thing is—there is no right or wrong in choosing to partake in this social dance. Haight mentioned in another thread, "How can two people that are so different both be High Self-Monitoring?" My answer was, those of whom people choose to blend in with will vary from person to person.. so their behaviors will vary.. and so enter cliques. The thing about cliques is that the security they provide is often at the sacrifice of other things. Depending on the clique, the sacrifices will vary. Some cliques are unofficial, only perceived, and others are official. I have been a part of both, and have found that it is much more rewarding to stand alone. Hierarchies.. you can tell who the silverback is, and you can tell who the minions are, by observing the manner in which their words are spoken.. and the way in which others' words are spoken in relation to them. This has absolutely nothing to do with "reputation points", if you haven't noticed.

Originally Posted by Geoff

Forum life grows in scale, ebbs and flows... far more rapidly than the real world. People will state that they have (and this is a real quote from a mod at another site) been a moderator for a very very long time at a site - when this in fact is less than a year. Isn't that mind boggling? Secondly the dynamics, the wars, the relationships flow very rapidly.. becoming prehistory in mere months, and recent but near forgotten history in hours. For those who have experienced it a long time, there presents recognisable patterns to the ebb and flow, like a sea of humanity caught in the swell.

This, I find most fascinating. The reason time seems to fly is because the quality of the time spent on a forum is so much greater. Every moment is golden.. at least to me. When you visit a forum based on something of your interest, you are constantly being stimulated in a way that is unmatched by most other things. Some of these topics require 100% of your attention—whereas, IRL, you rarely enjoy focusing on one thing, save for video games or intimate acts and conversation. Weeks, months, and years can go by of knowing someone IRL... and they can feel galaxies away... but on a forum, where you talk to them every day (or, perhaps just observe them talking to others), and in great depth with great passion and interest, they begin to feel like kindred spirits, which is why topics like "Who do you identify with?" spring up. We all feel it.. but we don't quite know how to express it properly or even name it.. so we come up with cutesy little emoticons to communicate this closeness that we feel. I find it very beautiful.